What's wrong with our society. Kim Kardashian: I'd like to marry this dude and spend $10 million dollars on a publicity wedding please oh and then 72 days later I'd like a divorce
America: Well sure why not?
Britney Spears: I want to get hitched in a chapel in Vegas and have the marriage annulled fifty-five hours later because I didn't know what the hell I was doing
America: Whatever you want!
Carmen Electra: I want to get married in Vegas to this basketball player and then annul the marriage nine days later cuz we were both drunk lololololololololol
America: Okay, sounds like fun!
Gay couple: We would like to get married and spend our lives together and possibly adopt unwanted children to give them a good home and -
America: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU IDIOTS THAT IS DISGUSTING AND WRONG YOU DEFILE THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE SO GTFO

When I sing…

at home:

when my favorite song  play on the radio:

in the shower:

in the computer:

if someone  asks me to sing:

dontworrybekarl:

if you’re wearing pants with words on your butt like “juicy” or “pink”

you want people to look at your butt

so don’t be mad

bitch you know what you walked outta the house with

Need a laugh?

Teenage girls 364 days a year: My mom is such a complete bitch. She thinks she's allowed to control my life but I don't want to live by her stupid rules. I hope she dies and goes to hell because I hate her and I never want to see her ugly face again.
Teenage girls on Mother's Day: Happy Mother's Day to the most beautiful loving woman I have met in my entire life, there aren't enough cards in the world to show my gratitude for my mother, I love you mom <3

Me in class. Me: okay, gotta focus. Big test coming up.
Me: ooooh, when did that poster get there?
Me: ugh, split ends.
Me: HOW DID YOU GET THAT ANSWER?
Me: just act like you understand.
Me: don't pick me, don't pick me...
Me: but here's my number, so call me maybe.
Me: DAMN THAT SONG IT'S SO FUCKING CATCHY.
Me: it's only been fifteen minutes?
Me: I hate you all.
Me: someone shoot me.